


Tell-All

by padalelli



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Brothers can't help reader, Charlie comforts reader, Charlie fluff, Charlie to the rescue, F/F, Reader is sad, tw: depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-17
Updated: 2015-03-17
Packaged: 2018-03-18 09:33:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3564764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/padalelli/pseuds/padalelli
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some not very welcome feelings from the past resurface for the reader. Sam and Dean hear her crying in her room and try to help, but only when Charlie arrives is everything revealed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tell-All

You sat up on your bed, wiping the tears from your eyes. You hoped the boys couldn't hear you sniffling.   
Lately you'd been in a rut. When you were seventeen, you struggled with feelings of depression, feelings that had gradually grown until you had to face the fact that you were depressed. And when you realized it you had bottled it up and no one had noticed until finally one night you told your mom. You had thought that telling someone would make it easier, but it hadn't. It had seemed like every time you talked to the people who knew about it, they just asked how you were and gave you a sympathetic look, not really trying to make you feel better.  
So that's why when those feelings came back now, nine years later, you kept them hidden and didn't tell the brothers. You loved the Winchesters, you really did, but you knew that if you told them what was going on they would only treat you like a sad little malnourished puppy.   
But tonight you just broke down. You felt so unimportant, but it was your own fault, it wasn't like the boys knew what you were going through or how you really felt- because you didn't tell them. So you felt like a piece of shit and it was your fault. You began choking out sobs, trying to keep the tears from falling, trying to steady your breathing so that you weren't gasping so loudly. But to no avail.   
The boys must've heard you crying. They knocked on your door but didn't wait before opening it and rushing to your bedside. "[Y/N], what's wrong?" Dean asked, placing a hand on your arm. You just shook your head, placing your hands on your face, trying to control your crying.   
"[Y/N], what's going on? You know you can tell us anything," Sam said.   
"I can't," you sobbed, shaking your head.   
"Why do you think that?" Sam asked.  
"Because..." you hiccuped when you brought your head up. "Because I'm not important enough," you cried.  
"What are you talking about, of course you're important," Dean cooed. He took your hands away from your face and replaced them with one of his own, wiping a tear away. "Hey, look at me. Nothing is more important than you being happy. Understand? Nothing. Just tell us what's going on," Dean said.  
You sniffled and gained control of your voice. "I just can't tell you right now, okay?" Your voice didn't falter, but it was still weak. "I'm sorry if that hurts your feelings, but I'm just not ready to tell you." And that was the truth. You weren't ready to tell them. You were scared that they'd play it off as something you were overreacting about, or that they'd do the polar opposite and never let you out of their site, and if they did they'd lock you away in the bunker so they could seek help. And you didn't want either of those things to happen.   
Dean gave you a doubtful look and Sam tapped his brother on the shoulder and tilted his head in the direction of the door. You were glad Sam respected you enough to know that if they gave you time, you'd open up. But at the same time, you wanted them to stay by your side, have them coax the information out of you. You wanted to feel like they cared about you too much to respect your boundaries. You wanted to know they cared. But you felt like they didn't because they didn't do any of those things. They were walking out when a familiar redhead approached the doorway and you heard her whisper, "What's going on?" That had to have been Charlie. It was about time for her to visit.  
"[Y/N]'s just not feeling well," Sam murmured. "She wants to be alone."  
"Alone my ass," Charlie muttered before waving them out of the room so she could come in, closing the door behind her. She sat on the bed next to you. "What's wrong?" she asked, wrapping her arm around you and rubbing your shoulder.   
At that point you broke down, all the tears you had been holding back now coming down your face in streams. "I... I just..." you cried. "I'm so worthless, I can never do anything right, I'm anxious all the time. I'm just... I'm so messed up," you cried, choking out breaths in between each phrase.  
"No!" Charlie said. "Why would you think that?"  
"There's so much that's wrong with me... I'm fucked up beyond repair," you said, more softly this time but still sniffling.   
"There's nothing wrong with you," Charlie murmured. "Sure, you have flaws, but we all do. And they make us who we are."  
"But that's not just it. I'm so unimportant and I'm just useless. There's no reason for me to be here." Your sobs grew heavy again. "I'm not important enough."  
"[Y/N] don't you dare say you aren't important. _Don't you dare_ ," Charlie said softly.   
"But it's true," you cried.  
Charlie wiped your eyes with her sleeve. "You are most definitely important. [Y/N], these boys could not live without you."  
You shook your head. "Yes they could, I don't make any difference. They never thank me or ask me to come on hunts with them or ask me what's wrong, I have to poke and prod at them to get them to do that. What's the point if they don't mean it? If they cared so much about me, I wouldn't have to remind them I exist," you said, your voice starting calm but returning back to sobs by the end.   
Charlie pulled you even closer to her and stroked your hair. "They love you, [Y/N]. They just aren't used to loving anyone outside of their family so strongly. They think you already know they love you, and they don't know what you're going through so it doesn't occur to them that you need to be reminded how much you're appreciated. They don't vocalize it until you ask them to because they thought you already knew how they felt about you," Charlie said.   
"Tell that to them," you said sourly, trying to replace your sadness with anger.   
"You have to tell them what's going on, [Y/N]."  
"I can't. They'll just brush it off and say I'm overreacting. And then I'll just feel even more like shit, and I hate that feeling Charlie, I hate it so much, but I can't do anything about it. I just have to put up with it and handle my depression on my own," you whined. And there it was. You had accidentally admitted to Charlie the secret you had been harboring for so long. The truth, really- that you were clinically and undeniably depressed.   
"They will not brush you off. They just came in here after hearing you crying and they wanted to make you feel better. Did you see how hard it was for them to just leave you alone the way you asked? They are probably so stressed out in the hallway right now," she joked. It cracked a smile out of you. "And if you tell them exactly how you feel and exactly what's going on, I'm sure they'll do their best to correct their mistakes. They'll make sure you feel loved all the time, they'll make sure you know how important you are. And they won't brush you off, and they won't turn into helicopter parents. But you have to tell them. I know it's going to be hard, I can't even imagine how hard it will be. But at some point, they need to know. Otherwise they can't help."  
You sniffled and nodded, burying your head in her shoulder. "Thank you," you said, but your voice was muffled.   
Charlie chuckled at the incoherent sound you formed. "Of course. Anything for you," she whispered before kissing the top of your head as you sat there in her arms, crying on her shoulder.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope this wasn't too sad, but I had to get my feelings out somehow.


End file.
